I found one of the alternative universes physicists have been looking for!

And it has an ESPN!

This is quite a discovery, let me assure you.

In fact, here is a partial transcript from that ESPN’s number one hit show: IS IT REAL OR IS IT A HOAX?

—Hello, y’all, this is Slim Filch, brother from another mother, with tonight’s guests, three brothers who can ball all day long. Aaron Rodgers, Kyrie Irving, and Novak Djokovic. They have one thing in common. What is it?

ALT. RODGERS: Vaccines are bullshit.

ALT. IRVING: Vaccines are bullshit.

ALT. DJOKOVIC: Vaccines are bullshit.

—There you go! Is this claim real, or is it a hoax? Aaron? You’re first up.

RODGERS: Well, Slim, let’s look at adjuvants. They’re substances, like aluminum compounds, that are included in the injections, because they’re supposed to enhance the production of antibodies. But here’s the missing piece. There’s no evidence the antibodies are responding to the fragment of a virus in the jab, rather than to the adjuvant itself. Get it? And antibodies produced in response to an adjuvant would be useless.

—Wow, Aaron, that’s an eye opener. You folks at home, I hope you’re voting as we go. Vaccines—are they real or are they a hoax? Kyrie Irving, what’s on your mind tonight?