CNN, Merrick Garland, Trump: when the truth is backwards

Conversation in the dark

July 1, 2022. Two CNN honchos are talking in a private office:

Did you speak to Garland?

Yeah. He seemed distracted.

He always does. It’s his fallback position. And he’s usually falling back.

It took me awhile to make him understand our position.

He’s not the swiftest boat in the lake.

I explained that our ratings are in the toilet. He didn’t react at first. I said we’re trying to carry the Democratic Party on our backs, and it isn’t easy.

Did he get that?

Not really. So I said, “If we go down, America goes down. It’d be the equivalent of the nation sustaining a major nuclear strike.”

You really laid it on thick.

I was flying by the seat of my pants. It was the only analogy I could think of.

Did it work?

His eyes focused a little. I said TV ratings are the most important issue in the country. Otherwise, there is no mass hypnotism. That seemed to stir him. He said he’d studied television in college. He realized how vital it was to national security. So I said if the networks go down, it’ll be a catastrophe. The newspapers aren’t worth shit. Nobody cares about them. He said, “What do you want me to do?”

You had your opening.

Finally. Yeah. I said the only time we amount to a hill of beans is when we’re covering Trump. We’re a single-issue operation. When Trump fades out, we fade out.

He said, “I believe I know where you’re going with this.”

He likes to say that. He thinks it makes him sound smart.

Yeah. I could say three hookers are investing in a carwash and he’d say, “I think I know where you’re going with this.” Anyway, I told him we need his help.

Did he nod sagely?