Earn a PhD without ever attending classes or leaving home; you don’t even need a high school diploma

YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. IN THE NEW AMERICA.

Hi, I’m Martin Ransom, former adjunct instructor in Minority Studies at the Duck University of Louisiana. I’m now the president of Online North-South-East-West University. See this maroon robe I’m wearing? I’m an academic.

Are you a member of an underserved community longing to be the first person in your family to graduate from college? And do you have $1500?

Our University can print up and mail you a PhD diploma in the field of your choice. It’s handsomely framed in black plastic.

You don’t even need a high school diploma.

Listen closely. Here’s how it works.

We now know, through careful research, that an AI can compose an acceptable PhD thesis in three minutes. This is a given.

So why should you write it?

You only need to demonstrate you can use AI.

We have a 30-second online test you can take today. If you pass and thus prove you CAN navigate an AI…you have your PhD. And you don’t need to have the AI turn out the thesis. Because we know it COULD.

This is an amazing breakthrough.

You pay a $1500 processing fee and you’re a PhD.

You, your family, and friends can hold a celebration and weep with joy, when your PhD diploma arrives in the mail.

I’M A DOCTOR NOW.

That’s what you can tell your friends.

For an additional $79.95, we’ll print business cards with your name, and your new title.

Imagine walking around your neighborhood as a full PhD.