Film remake of Moby Dick features George Soros in starring role

Your faithful reporter has exclusive inside details

The long-awaited relaunch of Moby Dick as a Netflix-HBO series hits homes next month. Your faithful reporter has exclusive inside details.

The series will focus on a space ship cruising the Milky Way in search of the White Whale, a mysterious figure who bankrolled Black Lives Matter and Antifa spinoffs during the George Floyd period.

A Democratic National Committee (DNC) attorney told me: “The White Whale is being held hostage by a white supremacist MAGA group. They’re demanding a prisoner exchange. They want Sam Bankman-Fried.”

Captain Ahab is being played by YouTube star, Caroline Cat Cram, a DNC dominatrix who has 3.1 million followers. Ahab isn’t looking to destroy the White Whale. She wants to save him.