Hi. I’m Cal. I’ve been writing PR for presidents since George the Elder

The parallel world and Joe Biden

Hi. I’m Cal. I’ve been writing PR for presidents since George the Elder. In 1995, I helped put together Clinton’s Come Home to the Government speech after the Oklahoma Bombing. In 2002, I wrote Iraq speeches for W. In 2020, I worked on Trump’s COVID surrender declarations, whereby Tony Fauci stepped in as interim president, and now I help assemble Biden’s remarks on a variety of subjects. Inflation, the Ukraine, energy.

The other day, Biden said to me, “You know, Trump wasn’t really that bad. He was just on the wrong side. Nationalism. That’s where all his mistakes came from. I’m seeing things in a new light.”

You’re seeing lots of things, Joe. Some of them aren’t there.

I know that, Cal. I’m used to it. It’s the cost of doing business. If I were sitting in a rocking chair on my porch at home, relaxed, under zero stress, the hallucinations might fade. But I don’t want them to fade.

Your inclusion thing isn’t selling well these days.

It never did. I’m just trying to give people a sense that they’re not alone. But my oratorical skills aren’t presidential. I’m an old senate committee guy. You know, you sit there and you go back and forth with witnesses. You ask questions. You try to lead them by the nose into deeper water. It’s lawyer talk. It doesn’t work on the campaign trail or from the Oval.

We need to sit you down with Jen, in an unorthodox interview format. Long form. She and you in a real conversation. An hour or two. Then we edit it and release it. A Q and A. A microcosm of what you’re all about.

That’s a hell of an idea. Why didn’t you suggest it sooner?

It just occurred to me. You’re a senator-type president. So let’s punch that up.

A new stage. That’s what I’ve been looking for. A parallel world. I don’t come to my ideas all at once. I need to go over the same subjects a number of times, and eventually something good drops out of the tree. I’m a circler. I surround an idea and find angles on it. If one doesn’t work, I try another. I’m a prober.

A whole series of interviews, Joe. You and Jen. You and a corporate CEO. You and a public defender. You and a middle class guy trying to hold his family together during tough times. You and a single black mother trying to raise her kids in the inner city. You and an ER doc.

That’s right. And I’m asking questions. I take their answers and make comments. I ask more questions. This is good. A presidency based on dialogue. It’s never been done.

And this is where your policy would come from. This is how it emerges. From sit-downs with real people. Of course, the policy is the tough part. Getting it into practice in the world. Passing laws.

Does any president ever really win that battle? I do my best, that’s all. This is where Trump had it right. With his talk. Didn’t matter whether the talk turned into fact.

Just don’t shake hands with the air, Joe. That doesn’t play well.

You know, when I did that, I could see Lincoln. He was standing at my side.

W used to see Dick Cheney standing next to his bed at night.

Yeah, but that was oppressive. This was friendly. Lincoln was smiling. He was encouraging me. So I stuck out my hand to shake his. I don’t care whether he was really there. Some people see God. Do they really see Him? Who cares? There are lots of hallucinations on the loose. And lots of visions. Zelensky is seeing all kinds of stuff these days.

He’s working a con.

Everybody’s working a con. On themselves.

You really believe that, Joe?

Here’s the thing, Cal. I don’t know what I believe. I’ve haven’t had a chance to really think it through. I’ve been too busy, for the past 50 years, with details. Advancing one policy or another. If we push this interview idea of yours far enough, with enough conversations with real people, I just might crystalize what’s important to me. Bottom lines.

You might come out of it with ideas that disturb your base. Who knows what’ll pop out of the hopper.

My base? What base, Cal? It’s all synthetic. Cooked. Millions of people in lock step who can’t think on their own. Plus all the people who voted for me who didn’t vote for me. No. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Joe, desperate times call for no measures. You just sit and let things go by. You watch the movie until it slows down and then you put in an edit.

That’s your philosophy, Cal? And you tell me I’M hallucinating? Why can’t I be the first president who finds out what he’s really thinking while he’s in office?

Don’t flatter yourself, Joe. All presidents ignore what they discover about themselves. That’s part of the job description. You come into office with an agenda and you leave with the same agenda, come hell or high water.

I don’t like that. My hallucinations don’t like it.

What’s that supposed to mean, Joe?

I see George Washington and his troops in the dead of winter, and a guy is reading Paine’s great statement about sunshine patriots to them, and they don’t desert the army. They don’t give up and go home. They fight on.

You THINK ABOUT Washington.

No. I SEE him. He’s standing in the Oval by the window looking out at the garden. He’s reflecting.

Even if that were true, so what? This isn’t 1776.

Sure it is. You believe we’re only living in one time? Is history dead? Why bother writing it then?

You said you taught college courses. You didn’t.

And? So? In my mind, I can see many lectures I gave. They help me now. They’re what I would have learned and taught. Does it matter? Which is worse, Cal? Turning a could-have-been into a was, or fronting for a vaccine that’s injuring people right and left?

You know about that?

Of course I know. I’m trapped in that vaccine program. Now THERE’S a hallucination. How do I extricate myself and everybody else? Some of the best minds in the country are trapped. Arrogant sons of bitches. They ASSUME. Whatever the doctors say---they go along with it. They say, “Well, Biden supports the vaccine and he’s the answer to Trump, so we go with Biden.” What kind of shit is that, Cal?

We have to maintain order, Joe. It’s the first priority. If you admit the vaccine was a terrible mistake, the uproar would take the whole country down.

I’m well aware. Once in a while, I see Fauci, in prison clothes, lingering in the press room, late at night. He’s standing next to the podium, his head hanging down, waiting for somebody to put a noose around his neck. And Fauci was TRUMP’S man, Cal. Warp Speed. The vaccine. Trump will never admit what he did. What he fronted for. So who’s hallucinating?

Yeah. I know, Joe.

I’ve got Democratic colleagues who used to be tough on crime. And now they’re saying let all the criminals go and cancel the police. Is that reality or delusion? I’m supposed to be the puppet who goes along with the delusion. But I see these prosecutors, Cal. I don’t recognize them. But I know who they are. They crowd into the Oval like a JURY and stand there in front of my desk. They’re honest men. They’re outraged. You know why? They want justice for the victims. That’s who they’re thinking about. People who lie in hospital rooms for weeks on painkillers and then they’re carried home to try to put their lives back together, and nobody cares. I TALK to these prosecutors. Now there’s an interview everybody would like to see. Crazy old Joe talking to the prosecutors who aren’t there.

Slow down.

No. I want to speed up.

You can’t take all this on, as if it’s your fault.

If I do nothing, what happens? Hell, I know people I used to call friends who can’t even make a comment on Facebook anymore. Seems to me the country is turning into a forum where the loudest groups of assholes win the battle. Is that a delusion? Who started that?

A president can only do so much.

Yeah, I’ve heard that one all my adult life. I used to say it myself. And now I’m in the chair. King Arthur was sitting in it the other day when I walked in.

Come on.

He was bemoaning the loss of Merlin, who disappeared. The magic man. That’s a guy I need these days. Somebody who can take away spells. I remember a time when talk wasn’t cheap. It meant something in the halls of government. There were real debates. Was that a hallucination? Was I bamboozled then?

Probably. The only difference now is, the echo chambers are bigger.

When I Look at King Arthur, I see a noble figure. I need to see that. Who am I looking at now? Pelosi. Are you kidding me? Pelosi and Kamala, next to King Arthur. Two unhinged loons. Find out what THEY’RE hallucinating about. If you dare. It won’t be pretty.

What do you want to do, Joe?

I want to stand up and do something unpredictable. Something that doesn’t fit with the plan. Something that takes Trump and me off the board. Something that stops all the back and forth about who the worst man of all time is. Is it Trump or me? I want to eradicate all of that. Clear the decks.

It’ll never happen. In a decade or two, people will just forget you two existed. They’ll be going hammer and tongs at each other on a different basis. Using a different pretext.

That’s not good enough, Cal. I’m desperate.

A president should never be desperate. No matter what.

My people dragged me across the finish line in the election. They thought they were smart. Because I was already senile and they could use me for their own purposes, without a whimper from me. But there was a downside. I wasn’t quite senile. I was having visions, and I was on edge. And I could lash out. Because I had nothing to lose. That’s what it is. Nothing to lose. Never elect a man who is in that state of mind. But too late now. Last month, I dipped into a book by some obscure author. He spends 700 pages trying to explain how bad Trump was. As if history isn’t littered with bloated egotists and narcissists. As if Trump was the first. And you know what I realized? People are convinced America is a NORMAL country. So if we suddenly get a swaggering cowboy in the White House---Trump---it’s unconscionable. It’s such a shock to the system, we can’t handle it. Jesus H Christ. People have to have their delusion of normalcy. Explore that hallucination, Cal. Take a ride on that crazy train.

What are you going to do, Joe?

I’m going to talk about my hallucinations. In public. I’m going to air it all out. The people I see who aren’t supposed to be there. Who they are. What they mean to me.

You can’t do that.

Sure I can.

You’ll be driven out of office.

Maybe. Or maybe people will stop and think about the consequences. Having Kamala Harris running things.

Admitting to your mental state would be a catastrophe, Joe.

Yeah, well that’s the thing. It isn’t just a mental state. That’s the case I’ll make. Seeing the people I see is more than that. When I describe what they’re telling me, what they know, who they are, I’ll let the chips fall where they may. I’ll crack the code.

Crack the code? What the hell are you talking about?

The code that pretends…the code we’re all using to claim things are normal. That normal is what we have to have. That normal is what we’ve settled on. THAT illusion.

Mr. President, you’re going off the deep end.

Am I? We all pretend we’re normal people electing normal assholes to public office. That’s the deal. And then we wonder why bad things happen. We’re all in a cult of the normal.

Even if that were true, it’s something some writer would write about. You know. A “dissident voice.” But you’re the PRESIDENT.

Which is exactly the point. If I go for broke, then that’s a real desperate measure in a desperate time.

Think of the consequences, Joe. Just calm down and think of the consequences.

I am. And with a lucidity that would surprise you. NORMAL is the curse we all live with. We’re devoted to that hallucination. I’m going to bust it. I’m going to describe all the conversations I’ve had with noble people from the past. Joan of Arc. Giordano Bruno. Socrates. George Washington. Tom Paine. Conversations that took place in the Oval Office. William Blake. Walt Whitman. I see them all. We speak.

That’s called schizophrenia.

It’s me. It’s what I experience. It’s my life as it is now.

What do you think you’re going to accomplish, Joe?

I’m going to open up closets. You see, Cal, I believe we talk to other people “who aren’t there” all the time. We don’t want to admit it. And those conversations expose our better natures. They reflect our deep aspirations. Aspirations we keep hidden or only pretend to pursue. The other day, while I was flying to Delaware, I met a lawyer. He was sitting next to me. I saw him as clearly as I see you now. I don’t know who he was. But he started telling me all about the people he was fighting for, who were being persecuted by agencies of the State. This lawyer was a warrior. A noble man. A hero. He imparted something to me.

Have the doctors been making changes to your medication schedule?

I don’t pay any attention to that. I’m going stand up on national television and say, “This is who I see now. This is what he looks like. This is what he is telling me. This is why I care.”

The networks will cut the feed in five seconds.

Then I’ll try again. I’ll invite reporters to the White House and tell them. I’ll do whatever it takes.

---AND THAT’S WHEN WE STOPPED TALKING---

We had to. Because Joe disappeared. He faded out.

And later that day, when I visited the House chamber to talk to one of my clients, the place was empty.

A Capitol cop came up to me. He looked panicked.

“Pelosi is gone,” he said. “So is Mitch McConnell.”

“What do you mean, gone?”

“Nobody can find them. Trump, too. I just got word. He was in New York and then…something happened.”

I looked at the room. The edges were crackling, like cellophane.

Some guy who looked a lot like me was standing just past the edge to my left. He grinned and nodded at me.

I ran out of the chamber. I kept running.

I thought, There goes my career.

Nobody left to lie for.

I felt an electric bolt of ecstasy shoot up my spine…

-- Jon Rappoport

Jon also writes at NoMoreFakeNews.com and OutsideTheRealityMachnine.com