"Hi, I’m Recruiting for the Mental Health Industry"

Plus: Two warning signs of dementia, [cough] Joe Biden; and, Rich liberal and poor liberal share a cab; and, I was sleeping with the television on

Quadruple header today. Four articles.

ARTICLE ONE: "Hi, I’m Recruiting for the Mental Health Industry"

Hi, I’m Phil. I’m a recruitment scout for the Mental Health Industrial Complex.

Are you a college student? Having trouble with your grades? Can’t get a date? Don’t seem to fit in? Miss the folks at home? Feel like an outsider?

Instead of dealing with these problems one at a time, in a sane way, how about opting for a blanket solution? YOU HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.

It works, believe me. First of all, we have plot lines for you. Scripts. For example, you’re suffering from the effects of racism. You’re unsure about your gender. You need a fix, a new identity.

Go with one of these narratives and you can join a group. Then you’ll be accepted. You’ll live with a bevy of like-minded warm comrades.

Start thinking of yourself as a victim. A new world will open up to you. You can get creative with sub-plots and triggers and purported incidents that prove you’re on the receiving end of aggression. It’s beautiful.

If you’re hesitant, we have specialized therapists who can push you over the edge into buying a plot line that really works for you.

You can go deeper. Psychiatry. Receive a mental disorder diagnosis you can wear proudly. And then, of course, there are the drugs. They’ll scramble your brains and confirm your victim status. We’re talking a LIFETIME of diagnoses and drugs.