I identify as Joe Biden

Why not?

To be more specific, I identify as his double.

That way, I can land a gig.

I stand in when he’s too whacked.

I can shake hands with empty air as well as he can. I can stumble around on stage looking for the exit. I can keep 10,000 documents in unsecured locations.

I can pour money like water into the Ukraine. I can take bribes from Burisma and Chinese companies.

I can call trannies the bravest people in America.

But no Jill. I don’t want her around. She can stay with Joe in the residence while I’m working.

The doctors can give me a clean bill of health, and I can campaign for the Oval in 2024.

I’m not suggesting I have plastic surgery, mind you. No. I’ll still look like me. I’ll just be Joe. No one can criticize that. Identifying is a choice. It doesn’t depend on personal appearance.

No one will care. Hey, if people are apathetic about enough fentanyl coming up through the border to kill every American a dozen times over, why should they be concerned about the fact that I’m Biden even though I look nothing like him?