I just discovered something very important about myself

Here it is: I don’t have a good victim back-story.

Somehow, I’ve managed to survive all these years without one.

As we all know, a victim-story draws sympathy like a naked light bulb on a back porch in Mississippi draws moths on a hot summer night.

And here I am, without that story.

BUT THEN I realized my victim story is: I DON’T HAVE A VICTIM STORY.

I mean, wow. Jackpot.

I may have stumbled on a new mental disorder.

I need to contact my friends at the American Psychiatric Association.