Male lawmakers walk around in pink high heels; this actually happened

OK, so these men all just came out of the closet as flaming gay.

Or they never had any male parts to begin with.

Or they surrendered to women.

Or they’re just sick puppies.

My team at the lab is analyzing the situation, and I’m sure they’ll come up with the correct answer.

Meanwhile, here is the story from FOX: “Twitter users had a field day lambasting male Canadian lawmakers who paraded around a room wearing pink high heel shoes in order to encourage men and boys to help combat violence against women.”

“Members of Canada’s Parliament donned the heels as part of the ‘Hope in High Heels’ event sponsored by Halton Women’s Place, a women’s shelter in Ontario, to bring awareness to violence targeting women.”

“’Violence against women is still prevalent in our society,’ Canadian Transport Minister Omar Alghabra tweeted Thursday, along with a video of the event. ‘Hope in Heels is an event that spreads awareness on violence against women while encouraging men and boys to be part of the solution. We wore their signature pink heels in support to this important cause’.”

Uh-huh.

Sounds like an ad for a shoe company.

What’s next? Bra and panties day?

Maybe these Canadian legislators could bring Biden up there for that one.

Anyway, mincing and traipsing in pink heels doesn’t ring a bell for me as a method for calling attention to abuse against women.

Now, if these guys moved in a line with whips, flagellating each other, that might work.

They could randomly tap women on the street, usher them into Parliament and hand them stacks of tax money.

The fact that these idiots are a branch of the federal government ought to disturb the citizens of Canada.

“This is what we elected you for?”

I’m trying to imagine the public’s reaction, if one day Chuck Schumer and Adam Schiff and Mitch McConnell showed up on the floor of the House and Senate hobbling around in pink high heels.

I’m also trying to imagine the conversation at home on the morning of the Canadian event…

“What’s in the box, Fred?”

“Pink heels.”

“A gift for a lady I don’t know about?”

“Some of the guys are going to wear them in Parliament today. As a sign of support for women.”

“And you’re one of those guys?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you out of your friggin’ mind?”

“It’s a good move.”

“You’ve done some crazy shit, Fred. Like the time you bought an alligator costume and wanted me to wear it in bed at that hotel. But this. This is IN PUBLIC.”

“There’s nothing wrong with pink heels.”

“Then there’s nothing wrong with a divorce.”

“Don’t be silly, Marcia. We’re only wearing the heels for a few minutes.”

“And yet a divorce is permanent.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re going to wear pink high heels on the floor of Parliament.”

“That’s right.”

“Whose idea was it? Who came up with that?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Holy shit, Fred. It was YOUR idea.”

“So what? I’ve always wanted to wear heels.”

“Remember the time I woke you up because you were tossing and turning in bed, and you told me you wanted to marry a sheep?”

Yeah, well, that, too.”

“My father is CEO of one of the most prestigious investment banks in the country. How the hell did I end up with YOU?”

“You were drunk on whiskey sours when I proposed, and you said yes.”

“And all these years later, here we are with you carrying pink high heels to work.”

“It’s a political statement.”

“It’s you wanting to feel like a woman.”

“Isn’t that what every woman wants from a man?”

“Every crazy woman.”

“You’re not very modern, Sylvia.”

“Sylvia is your mother. I’m Marcia, your wife.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Give me those shoes.”

“No.”

“Give me the shoes or my father and I are writing you out of our wills.”

“That threat isn’t going to work anymore. I don’t care. I want to be who I am. My authentic self.”

“You wouldn’t recognize an authentic self if it bit you in the balls.”

“I’m going to work and I’m going to wear the shoes. I practiced in them last night and I don’t wobble. I can walk straight.”

“I’m calling your shrink. I’m going to have him sign an order and put you in a psych ward for 72 hours.”

“He can’t make that stick. Not in this political climate. I’m a hero in pink.”

“You know what, Fred? To many people, you probably are. No point in trying to have you committed to a loony bin. We’re all living in one.”

“Now that’s the spirit, honey. Why fight the inevitable? Shall we have a quiet dinner at home tonight?”

“Have a nice time with your guys tonight. I’m packing my bags. I’m done. I’ll leave a few dresses in the closet for you. And a box of Tampons in the bathroom.”

-- Jon Rappoport