The Presidential Debate between 2 cats in bags

(This article is Part-0B in a series; for Part-1, go here; for Part-0, go here.)

Or 2 men in straitjackets.

I just walked out after a half hour. Couldn’t take it anymore.

My impression was of 2 men in restraints trying to catch a train that was leaving the station.

On the way, they were telling lies as fast as they could.

A decent moderator would have waved his hands and said SHUT UP THIS ISN’T WORKING. LET’S START OVER. EACH MAN WILL TALK ABOUT ANYTHING HE WANTS TO FOR 20 MINUTES AND THEN WE’LL SAY GOODNIGHT. THANK GOD.

Instead of: “What about the Middle East? You have two minutes.”

Two drunk college sophomores couldn’t do worse than these 2 jokers.

I thought of the old wisecrack: Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?

Biden was huffing and puffing like a toy choo choo train. Trump was piling up how great he was and how horrible Biden is. It was sketch comedy without the laughs.

Or if you prefer, tragedy without the tears.

“Mr. Biden, look at the board. Do you see the famous quote? THESE ARE THE TIMES THAT TRY MEN’S SO_LS. Can you fill in the blank with the correct letter?”

“Mr. Trump, here is a word you’re quite familiar with. GRE_T. What’s the missing letter?”

“For a trip to a sanitarium in Switzerland, Mr. Biden, what’s your wife’s first name?”

“Mr. Trump, your phrase WARP SPEED was taken from what old television show?”

“Did America revolt against England or vice versa?”

“Which came first? The American Revolution or the Constitution?”

Give these men questions they can answer. Hopefully.

Pare down the debate to simplicities.

“How many shoes are you wearing? THAT’S RIGHT.”

“Does the moon reflect the sun? CORRECT.”

Once a comfortable baseline is established, then carefully move on to slightly more complex questions.

—I just checked in again: