Religion Central? Hello?

Yes, this is Religion Central. Are you interested in our package?

Maybe. Right now I’d like some information.

Good. That’s why we’re here. How can I help?

What am I buying if I buy?

You’re buying us. We’re a global religion. We offer you access.

Access to what?

Not what, whom. You become connected to the Deity.

How?

Through us.

You’re already connected?

Indeed we are.

I see. So I can’t just establish a direct line on my own.

I wouldn’t recommend it.

Why not?

Because there is a system of communication. We operate that system. It’s organized.

How did you come into possession of the system?