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In The Circus Starring The Demented
People who can’t tell the difference between what’s written on the side of a cereal box and Dostoyevsky are going to be leading Oscars ceremonies that are…
The Oscars are going to demand nominations for best picture are inclusive: racial/sexual “minorities” as actors, and the scripts have to reflect Wokey Doke issues.
“And the nominations for Best Picture are… ‘This Dude Is Black and Don’t You Believe the Bullet That Entered His Kidney Came from a Gang Banger Just Because the Medical Examiner Said So, It Came from the Gun of a White Cop’, directed by the He/They/We Gloria Marvin Silicone Finkleberg Collective…”
When the new rules go into effect for next year’s Oscars, they will require that a film meet two of four inclusion standards to be eligible for best picture...A film could meet the onscreen standard, for instance, by having one of its lead or supporting actors come from an underrepresented racial or ethnic group or by having a storyline centered on an under-represented group, including women, LGBTQ people and people with disabilities. It could meet the industry access and opportunity standard by offering a paid internship and below-the-line training opportunities for people from underrepresented groups…
And you thought I was making this up.
There’s a new sheriff in Tinsel Town, and she’s batshit crazy.
But mobs of actors and other Hollywood types will cave and follow orders and celebrate the new rules, because that’s what they always do.
“Well, Bill, the script has one superhero who’s Hispanic, and a Chinese lawyer who dons a mask at night and fights tax cheaters, but I’m not sure that’s enough to get us a nomination for best picture. How about six black Greek gods who descend from Mount Olympus and run for Congress? Plus, I know a mentally disabled screenwriter who lives in a little cave under the HOLLYWOOD sign. We could bring him in to polish dialogue…”
Actually, now that I’ve calmed down a little, I think this is a positive development. Push white actors and directors to the wall. Deny them work. Put them into the dumpster. Especially the stars. Eventually, they’ll start screaming. They won’t be able to help themselves.
Heard on a hot mic: “I was supposed to play a corrupt judge but then they hired some no-name Mongolian or Malaysian asshole just to meet the requirements. The guy can’t even speak English, but he’s transitioning. He’s on the drugs and he has his surgery scheduled for June. He’s having his dick cut off just to make sure he gets the role. I spoke to my attorney and he says we can’t even sue. I hear the cinematographer they brought on is just out of a fucking psych ward. He can’t hold a camera without trembling. The project is budgeted at $250 million and the studio doesn’t care. They’re terrified of being called racist. Half the crew is gay but that isn’t enough. They’re rewriting the script and bringing in Jane Fonda for a cameo. She’s going to shoot a pro-lifer in the head at a protest. There’s one scene on the floor of the Senate, and all the senators are black. Chuck Schumer is a lesbian. I don’t care anymore. I really don’t. I spoke with Brad and Matt and George and Julia, and we’re thinking of staging our own white Oscars. What have we got to lose at this point? Give me a script called Donald and Melania and I’ll play Melania. This shit has gone too far. I’ve been kissing gay guys in films since I was 19. That’s my contribution to the cause. Carrying gay guys who are pretending to be straight. Vote for me. I stuck my tongue in a gay guy’s ear. I’m virtuous. I mean, what’s going on? Two years ago, some creature sneaks up in a rowboat and takes my pic, I’m wearing a bikini and I’m cuddling with Henry, who is white, on the deck of his boat, and all of a sudden I’m a white supremacist whore. My agent sent me a script—the life of Leonardo da Vinci. He wanted to know whether I was interested in playing Leonardo. I told him, ‘Hey, I’ve got a vagina.’ But see, I’m not supposed to say that, because some trans agent who was a woman but is now a man can get pregnant. Who are these fucking people? At Stanford Law School, a conservative lawyer tries to give a speech and the law students shout him down. They scream at him. Some official at the school apologizes and the law students are all over that guy. These young assholes will one day sit on the Supreme Court? Show me a script about THAT and I’m in. I know an old director who’s been living inside a whiskey bottle for 20 years. Now he’s saying alcoholism is a disease and he’s disabled, so he should be given a shot a directing a Marvel superhero film. He’s been chasing little boys for years but nobody cares about that…”
Yeah, this is what I want to see. An A-list big-time white actor bursting at the seams. Can’t hold back.
Did you know Cary Grant’s grandmother was black, and Clark Gable was Clarissa Gable?
They’re posthumously up for new Academy Lifetime Awards.
-- Jon Rappoport
Episode 39 of Rappoport Podcasts—“Wuhan’s biggest secrets, underneath all the lies and cover stories”—is now posted on my substack. It’s a blockbuster. To listen, click here. To learn more about This Episode of Rappoport Podcasts, click here.