US Military Division: No More Gender Pronouns

It’ll make us stronger

Washington Free Beacon (8/31): “A division of the U.S. Pacific Air Forces (PACAF), the branch tasked with confronting China, has ordered its senior leaders and commanders to stop using gender pronouns in written formats, saying the shift to more neutral language will help improve the fighting force’s ‘lethality’.”

“Leaders at the base are instructed, ‘Do not use pronouns, age, race, etc.’ when writing performance reviews or other materials, such as recommendations for awards. ‘Competition against near-peer adversaries requires a united focus from the command, the joint team, and our international partners. Welcoming and employing varied perspectives from a foundation of mutual respect will improve our interoperability, efficiency, creativity, and lethality’.”

Based on these changes, here’s what I expect to find at a future hearing:

Corporal, 20 years ago you shot and killed an Afghan civilian outside a hut in the Panjshir Valley. Charges may be filed against you.

Well, he was holding a weapon and pointing at me. It looked like a Russian AK-47.

He? Why are you using that pronoun?

Because he was a man. He was going to kill me.

How do you know the villager was a man?

For one thing, he had a long beard.

That doesn’t necessarily mean the person was a man.

Also, he was naked. His cock and balls were swinging in the breeze.

Corporal, have you ever heard of transgender surgery? Surely you understand genitalia don’t define gender.

You mean this guy out in the sticks, this Taliban was a woman and he got a surgeon to give him a cock and balls?

We’re here today to ascertain the facts. Not to listen to speculations. You’re continuing to use pronouns. That’s a very serious violation of protocol.

So even if I’m exonerated for blowing that dude away, I might go to prison for pronouns?

That’s exactly what I mean.

Can I resign from the Army?

You want to make a deal?

Absolutely. You give me a dishonorable discharge, I walk, and I take my chances in civilian life.

It might be possible, if you agree to enter a re-education program in a half-way house.

What kind of program?

Basically, operant conditioning. It’ll prevent you from pronoun misuse in the future. The doctors deploy mild electric shocks to redirect behavior.

I don’t like the sound of that.

Or you could identify as a woman. That would also satisfy the requirement for release from the military.

If I take that option…

You’d undergo a medical protocol of drugs and surgery.

No thanks.

Later today, I’m awarding a Silver Star to one our soldiers who transitioned — and yet performed heroically on the battlefield.

Performed how?

While receiving a cascade of abuse from protesters, the soldier took down three billboards in Texas stating, “A MAN IS A MAN.”

Wow. Did he shake his new bush at the protestors?

I see there’s no point in trying to reason with you now. You’re going into lock-up for three months, after which we’ll convene again and see whether you’ve gained some common sense.

Can I commit suicide in lock-up?

On your own? No. However, a psychiatrist might permit physician-assisted end-of-life therapy.

-- Jon Rappoport

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