The Ballad of Billy Joe MFer—famous NASCAR racer (retired)
[Decentralizing Power and The Use of the Bully Pulpit, Part 9]; "Sheriff Bob is letting me sit in on his Bully Pulpit live stream today..."
(This is Part-9 in the series “Decentralizing Power and The Use of the Bully Pulpit”. For Part-8, click here. For Part-10, click here. Archive page, here.)
—Hello all you people out there. Sheriff Bob is letting me sit in on his live stream today…what he calls his bully pulpit.
He’s been telling you how he’s not going to enforce certain federal regulations in your county, because they’re crazy.
Bob’s become your star.
I used to be a star, too. I drove racing cars for 20 years.
Now, I have a new name for myself. BILLY JOE MOTHERFUCKER.
I’m going to start my own live stream, my own bully pulpit, and I’ll be talking to folks all over the world every day—
Folks like you who are sick and tired of the mountains of woke bullshit piling up outside in the front yard.
The people who run this country think you’re stupid. They think I’m super-stupid. We can’t find our asses with a flashlight. We can’t figure out how to get out of the rain. We can’t add two and two and come up with the right answer.
We can’t understand that a little six-year-old boy wants to turn into a girl and his EDUCATED mommy and daddy should let a doctor give him puberty blockers.
I say fuck those puberty blockers and the doctor who rode in with them. Little six-year-old Jimmy doesn’t know what the hell he wants. On Tuesday, he wants to be a fireman. On Thursday, he wants to drive NASCAR. On Saturday, he wants to go to the moon.
Now, some of you good folks have pulled your kids out of public school, where they teach this gender crap, and you’re home schooling them. Good for you. I say a lot more of you should do that.
We don’t need our kids getting taught about ANY kind of sex in schools.
But like I said, the government thinks you’re stupid. They think that even though you have kids, you don’t know what sex is. How about that?
So they—the government—have to teach your kids about sex in schools.
Listen up real close. Those government schools aren’t teaching your kids how to read or write. That’s not very smart, is it?
But here they are, teaching your kids about sex.
And why is that again?
Because you’re so ignorant, you don’t know what sex is. You men don’t know what to put where.
It was just dumb luck you ever had sex or had kids…
—Overnight, Billy Joe Motherfucker’s live stream video goes viral and racks up more than a million views, and Billy Joe quickly launches his own live stream bully pulpit.
In his first broadcast, he plays guitar and sings a new song, RELIGIOUS PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO HAVE SEX.
Then he says: